Deploy the Puppy Eyes (Snack Acquisition 101)

Listen up, rookies — today we study the most powerful weapon in the canine persuasion arsenal: The Puppy Eyes Maneuver. This isn’t cuteness. This is psychological snack warfare. The Tall Ones (humans) are biologically unprepared for the devastating combo of wide-eyed innocence and subtle eyebrow wiggles.

Execution sequence:
Step 1 — Position yourself within the Tall One’s sightline. Sit, flop, or hover. Doesn’t matter, as long as eye contact is established.
Step 2 — Expand pupils to maximum orbital roundness. Imagine you’re a starving Victorian street pup (even if you ate breakfast 11 minutes ago).
Step 3 — Tilt head by 15–35 degrees. Do not exceed 40 degrees or they may suspect manipulation.
Step 4 — Add a soft micro-whine or gentle paw tap if snack output remains low.

Warning: Do not overuse this maneuver. If deployed more than 7 times before lunch, Tall Ones may activate the dreaded “ignore protocol.” Rotate tactics with Nose Bumps and Strategic Staring to maintain snack yield.

🐾 Breeds Who Excel at This

• Cavaliers:Olympic-level sorrow optics
  • Labs: Puppy eyes + drool = snack pressure multiplier
  • Whippets: Look like they haven’t eaten since 2014
  • Airedales: Perfect head tilting

🧠 Science Says:

Soft canine eye contact increases oxytocin release in humans — the same bonding hormone used for infants. They think they’re in charge. They are not.