What Dogs Think (EP-69)

The Mirror Identity Crisis (Who Is That Other Dog???)

Tall Ones look in mirrors and adjust hair. Dogs look in mirrors and confront existential canine identity paradox — the mysterious dog who lives inside the shiny rectangle.

Phase 1 — First Contact
Introduction to mirror leads to one of three reactions:
✔ bark at other dog
✔ stare silently in confusion
✔ ignore because reflection dog is beneath notice
Tail positions fluctuate between curiosity & suspicion.

Phase 2 — Threat Evaluation
Dog analyzes reflection for:
• scent (none)
• sound (none)
• behavior (suspiciously synchronized)
Dog begins to suspect reflection dog is some sort of copycat spy.

Phase 3 — Testing the Entity
Dog performs tests:
✔ head tilt
✔ paw tap on glass
✔ sniff lower frame
✔ fast turn-around to catch reflection dog from behind
Results inconclusive every time.

Phase 4 — Owner Weirdness
Tall One points into mirror like:
“Look! It’s YOU!”
This helps nothing. Dog already knows it’s them. Or does not. Mystery remains unresolved.

Phase 5 — Resolution States
Mirror event can end in:
A) acceptance
B) boredom
C) enlightenment
D) barking meltdown
E) deep philosophical crisis
Dog returns to normal life without answers.

🐾 Breeds Who Excel at This

• Huskies:Argue loudly with reflection
  • Terriers: Attempt to fight reflection
  • Poodles: Judge reflection’s posture
  • Goldens: Wag at new friend
  • Shibas: Ignore reflection as unworthy

🧠 Science Says:

Most dogs do not use mirrors for self-recognition — they rely on scent more than visuals. Mirror tests show cognitive variance, not lack of awareness. Dogs just don’t care about vanity metrics.